Today I learned: I am perfectly imperfect, and that’s ok.
This weekend my 14 year old daughter brought home Mason. Mason was my grandson for the weekend. He cried, and cooed, and needed to be fed and burped and his neck needed to be supported because his neck is not quite developed yet. Except Mason isn’t really a newborn.
Mason is a robotic baby that my daughter received as part of her Human Growth and Development course to learn about caring for a baby. You see, my daughter wants to be a teacher. This means her high school courses are designed to prepare her for college and her eventual career as a teacher. Understanding Human Growth and the lifecycle is an important part of that.
She named him. And she cared for him all weekend. When he woke up wanting a bottle in the middle of the night she got up to feed him. She burped him and rocked him when he got fussy. She was a great care giver to Mason. Even though her sleep was interrupted and using a car seat is difficult, she did awesome.
However, all her “skills” were probably a combination of conditioning as a girl, her class teachings, and maybe a little bit from me. So, it’s not really that surprising. It’s also good because Mason will generate a report for her teacher when he is returned on how well Allie cared for him.
There were a couple times she couldn’t tend to the baby. We were driving and he needed to be changed. She said she would just note it in her journal so the teacher would know. There was a time she was feed him him and bumped his neck with her arm. She said she would just make a note. Another time when she was in the car he needed to eat. She said she would make a note.
She was nonchalant. Casual. Calm. She was not worried about these things affecting her grade. These were things out of her control.
Like almost everyone, I always want to be a better parent. I want to do more and be more for them. I want to give them the world and I want the best for them.
And… how many times have I graded myself too harshly? How many times have I allowed OTHERS to grade me too harshly? If I were to write down all the times my kids did not receive immediate gratification from me, would I be able to be ok with the findings? Would I be able to remain confident in my parenting knowing that…well, I am a perfectly imperfect parent. And that’s ok. I love my kids, and it does not change my status as a pretty awesome Mom.
Allie, thank you for reminding me, especially at this time of the year, it’s ok to be a loving, although immensely imperfect, Mom. You are so smart.