A Bag of Jokes (and other Tricks)

Today I learned: “Smiles are contagious, and are meant to be spread”

Smiles aren’t just reserved for Christmas!

A man that hardly needs an introduction, he has been a key person in my learning development over the last 5 years: Simon.

• Alter Ego: Jack (from Mexico, but who often visits our home… and India. He is sometimes good, and sometimes naughty, but never boring.)
• Best Friend: Anthony, Allie, Pablo, Jeremy, Ethan…and every other person he meets…but mostly the SPOTLIGHT is his best friend – he is always under it!

• Future Career: Cowboy

Simon commanded attention from the moment I found out I was pregnant. Nothing would ever be “ordinary” with him. He was my first home-birth, and my only water birth. Everything about his coming into the world was remarkable and beautiful. He instantly put a smile on my face and has not stopped teaching me how to smile since.

In fact, his smile is radiant. Simon has the biggest cheek-to-cheek grin I have ever seen in my life, and it is almost permanently on his face; its not too surprising given his natural talent for humor. I knew he had a lot to teach me about humor when he was around 6 months old and he turned to his big sister on the couch and gave her a grin and made a funny sound to make her laugh.

His laughter is what makes him so great at getting in touch with that “inner child.” He always has time to play, be silly, and brighten a room. His comedic talent ranges from fart and poop jokes to a plethora of funny faces. There is just no telling what he will pull out of his bag of tricks. He certainly has shown me the importance of carrying that bag and making sure it is always full.

He also has an incredible sense of wonder, making him a CEO (Chief Exploring Officer). He is enamored with nature; any living thing he finds is a part of his heart. He is also curious and never without a question, so his mind is continually working (and so is his mouth). A great reminder that if you don’t know the answer, its ok to go find it.

And he never gives up on finding the answers either. His determination is remarkable. He has taught me many times over that pushing myself and picking myself up when I stumble are the only ways to succeed. He never fails, and he never gives up. He changes his approach until he “gets it”. This determination makes him very smart and open to learning new things.

While he is determined beyond belief, he is also not afraid of letting go. He never holds on to the things he does not need. He lets go of emotional garbage and grudges. He is quick to forgive, and fast to share. He loves whole-heartedly and never allows sadness or stress to consume him. His spirit is strong and yet innocent. I take full advantage of these strengths he possesses, because I have much to learn, especially in these areas

Contagious Grin

Simon is like a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day. It’s impossible to meet him and not fall instantly in love and have this overwhelming sense of… goodness. I am forever grateful for his presence in my life.

Thank you, Simon – You are so smart.

-Stupid Mom

Her Best Friends are Strangers

February 7, 2013

Today I learned: “Wisdom begins at birth, or sooner”

Introducing one of my very own “A-Team” players- a huge asset to my learning team: Alexandra. 

• Aliases: Allie *(Previously also referred to as “Missy Moo, Moo, Sweet Pea, and Pea, although now she prefers to keep more professional)

• Favorite Color: Green

• Future Career: Teacher, 4^th grade reading (because she likes reading and she knows the 4^th grade stuff)

I remember the moment I fell in love with my Alexandra.  It was after everyone had left the hospital and I was holding her in the rocking chair.  When our eyes met, I fell in love in a way I had never experienced before.  Everything my mom ever told me finally made sense.

It was not long after that, or maybe even before – probably when I was still pregnant in fact, that I realized how brilliant Allie is and how much she could teach me about life, not just love.   I was thrilled she would be forever a part of my team – I had a lot to learn.

She has so much courage! When she was really small, she would hide behind my legs and people would comment on her shyness.  So, I would always step-aside or put her in front of me and tell them how mistaken they were, so she could really shine.   Alexandra was brave, like a lion, not shy.  And her favorite animal was soon declared, and never faltered to this day, as a lion.   I am convinced this is her “totem animal” or soul animal of sorts.  She is always open to taking a new risk and pushing me to do the same.  Like last year when she took on the “big” water slide – right from the start.  No warm-ups, no easing into it or discovering what it would feel like to be on a waterslide first, she just climbed to the top of this big ol’ thing and took it on, just like that.

She is always teaching me about creativity and imagination too. She plays make-believe all the time, still at 9 years old. People in the grocery store often smile fondly and comment on her vivid imagination.  She is a singer, dancer, teacher, cheerleader, and just about anything she can think up. Her dance moves are tops, she teaches me her moves often (but I am a very slow and uncoordinated learner and just overall not as cool).  She also speaks Spanish and Hindi fluently – self-taught nonetheless. Her dramatics overall are fantastic.  One time in a parking lot I actually indicated that I did NOT LIKE her drama and then we talked about what that meant.  I think since then she has really embraced it and owned it as a big part of herself. Some may call this stubborn, but it is just part of her tenacious spirit.

And tenacity is definitely one of her strengths. She is not one that is ever held back by circumstances.  When she wants something, she goes for it with all her heart.  No holding back.  Sometimes this looks like a tantrum, but its really about a girl who knows what she wants from life and won’t take no for answer.  As she has grown, she has fine-tuned this skill and utilizes it more purposefully and skillfully.  Which is beautiful, most of the time.

Her eye for beauty is unparalleled too.  She is a fashionista for sure and gives me tips and pointers on staying beautiful.  She also sees the beauty in the things around her, rocks, trees, toads, beetles, colors, a piece of string, even a bead found on the ground.  She never misses an opportunity to find the beauty in the things around her.  She is great at pointing out that beauty is all around us. And it keeps me on my toes on laundry day as I clean out pockets…or don’t clean out pockets.

Being the oldest member of my core team members, she is also excellent at exemplifying her maturity.  She is great at showing me how to be mature, and  equally important – when to be immature.  She seems to have a great balance of knowing when to laugh at farts and when to keep others in line.

And Friendship is one of her strongest areas.  She has lots of friends.  In fact,  when she goes somewhere she always makes a new bestie.   Sometimes she is not very good at names, but what’s in a name anyway – as Shakespeare said “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”  She is a great role model for friendship, and how to care for every stranger as if they really were a “best friend”.

Thanks Allie – You are so smart.

–Stupid Mom

Introductions First, Please

February 6, 2013

 

Today I learned:  “I am equipped with an amazing team.”

For my next few entries, I have decided to introduce my learning team.  While each member of my team is extremely talented and offers exceptional wisdom in all areas of personal development and life lessons, they each have their niche areas where they truly excel.

I am fortunate to be surrounded by an extensive learning team, including my best friend and companion, and two 4-legged furry experts. I may introduce these team members later.   For now, I will focus on my three core team members, with whom I give credit for most of the smarts I have managed to miraculously achieve. To appreciate their expertise, it is helpful to understand their background, experience, and education in their field(s).   Please read over the next few days to learn more about the uniqueness of these amazing individuals.  I will be highlighting one of the core learning team members per day.

Not a day goes by that this incredible team of individuals does not inspire me:

Alexandra:

Title: Daughter

Current Age: 9

Expertise:  Beauty, Courage, Diva-ness, Drama (and all things relating
to the dramatic arts such as dancing, acting, singing),  Tenacity, Maturity, Friendship

 

 

 

 

 

Simon:

Title: Son

Current Age: 5

Expertise:  Humor, Letting Go, Positivity, Getting in Touch
with your Inner Child, Wonder/Exploration,Determination

Anthony:       

Title: Son

Current Age: 4

Expertise: Sharing, Forgiveness, Strength (mental & physical),
Super-Heroes, Excitement, Love/Romance,  Chocolate Milk
(and addictions), Finances

 

 

Thank you Alexandra, Simon, and Anthony – You are so smart.

–Stupid Mom

Roses Don’t Have to Rhyme

February 4, 2013 

My amazing daughter Alexandra

Today I learned: “Beauty and talent surround me”

Let me preface this post with a note.  My children are completely unaware of my blog.  They are also completely unaware that I spend my entire day focused on learning something fascinating from them.  There are two reasons I have decided not to tell them.  The first reason is that, while I write about them, this is isn’t about them. It’s about me; selfish, perhaps, but true.   That brings me to my second reason.  I want the things I learn from them to be 100% authentic and candid.  My kids are show-boaters to say the least.  If they knew I was up to this, they would constantly be doing what they could to impress me. What they don’t understand at their young age is that they do that naturally.

With that being said, I learned a magnificent lesson from Allie today.  An absolutely beautiful one… and today, she is the writer.  Today, my daughter wrote me a poem entitled “My Mom”:

“My Mom”

My mom is caring.

My mom is loving.

My mom is amazing.

My mom loves us no matter what.

 I love my mommy!!

“Not a ryming poem” scribbled on top of a notepad sat on my laptop waiting for me to find it

Eat your heart out Shakespeare.  That was the most unexpected display of beauty and talent I have ever witnessed.   Thank you for teaching me that beauty and talent are all around me.  Thank you for opening my eyes.

Thank you Allie – You are so smart (and pretty darn amazing yourself, kiddo)

–Stupid Mom  (the caring, loving, and amazing one)

Climbing the Stairs to Sleep.

February 2, 2013

Today I learned:  “Take time to rest, even if it’s not convenient”

Being a mom, life gets really busy.  I am also a full time student and I usually work full time (although I am currently taking a little hiatus).  I play hard too.  I am not all about cleaning and doing laundry.  I take time to wrestle with the kids, ride bikes, make Play-Doh cakes and an array of family centered activities.

All of this leaves me plain ol’ tired and worn out at times.  It is not in my nature to nap or to even slow down much during the day.  Some days I will go all the way until bedtime and realize I hadn’t even sat down.

Usually my children are the source of my energy and remind me that life is far too short to slow down TOO much.  In fact, they are known to fight sleep (even as babies) in order to keep themselves from missing out on something exciting.   Usually they are a reminder to use a day up completely, with nothing left, as if it is the last day I  will have on earth.

If you use your day right, you have to sleep even if its not convenient.

Today, Simon taught me a different lesson. One I needed to learn today.  He taught me that while its great to play and make the most of my days, it’s also ok to take time to rest.  God even took a day of rest.  When I came down the stairs and saw that Simon had decided “here and now” was the best place and time to sleep; I was reminded that I absolutely have to make the time to re-charge and rest my body – even if its not convenient.

Thank you, Simon – You are so smart.

–Stupid Mom

Alligators and Bunnies Proven to Reduce Stress

January 28, 2013

Today I learned: “Alligators and bunnies significantly reduce stress levels”

Tight schedules and busy morning are WAY stressful!

Mornings at my house are traditionally pretty hectic, especially during the weekdays.  I generally find myself frantically scrubbing up dirty boys in the tub, tossing jeans and shirts from drawers and hurling socks across the room in a mad-dash to get everyone ready for school and out the door in time to catch the bus.  My daughter always seems to take extremely long showers, and mostly when we are running late.  She also has one speed…slow…and again mostly when we are running late.  She will skip the conditioner in her shower so when I brush her hair there are extra tangles.  She will forget to bring a towel in the bathroom so I will have to run upstairs to get her one then run back downstairs where I continue my rant about putting shoes on with the boys.  The boys ignore me as they wrestle and play with toys, and of course take the opportunity of the split second I was away to turn on the television.  Then my youngest will refuse to put on his shoes, and demands something ridiculous like ice cream that we don’t have. You get the picture.  There is never enough time, no matter how much time there is and there certainly is no room for getting off the schedule of our routine.

But today, I learned from Simon that if there is time to pull tangles out of hair and un-wrestle two boys, there is also time to be a little silly.   After getting dressed and just before descending down the stairs to begin the next phase of mayhem, my son Simon caught a glimpse of his shadow.  While he giggled, I initially rolled my eyes and was about to tell him to go downstairs.  Then I looked…and then I looked even more…and closer and deeper…until I realized, it was really rather funny.  What I found most funny is that my Simon was not only a goof; he had NO idea how to make a shadow puppet.  His shadow dances were cool, yes; however, his mamma could make a bird, and alligator, a snake, and a bunny!  Eat your hearts out!

While my daughter took one of her famous long showers, screeching and screaming to move faster in order to catch the bus lost its importance. So, instead I spent some time laughing with my boys and making shadow puppets with them (sorry you missed out Allie, we will find our own thing).  Laughter filled the space of the morning, and we still made the bus in time.  In fact, we even got ready a little early, and with a lot less stress.

Simon teaching me the art of silliness.

Thank you Simon – You are so smart.

-Stupid Mom

Anti-Aging Wrinkles

January 27, 2013 

Fresh air is good for my soul.

Today I learned: “Fresh air and smiles slow the aging process.”

From the moment I woke up this morning, my son Simon was asking me to take him out front to ride his bike.  I promised him as soon as I got everything done in the house I would take him.  I got a lot accomplished, including homework for school, cooking, scrubbing the master bathroom and washing our dog, Lacy.  By the time I had everything done it was mid afternoon and I was beat.

Of course, as soon as I got everything done is when Simon came bounding up to me with twinkling eyes reminding me of my promise to take him outside.   I was happy to bring him outside and get some fresh air.  It sounded…rejuvenating.

When I went outside, I looked around for a place to sit so I could supervise him while enjoying the breeze.  There were no chairs in the garage so I headed for the house to grab one.  As I was walking inside, I passed my bicycle.   Then I looked at Simon riding his bike as if he had no care in the world.

Needless to say, I decided the best place to sit would be on my own bike.  I felt like a kid again riding around in circles in front of the house and having races with my boys and their friend.  Even as it began to sprinkle, and then shower us in a light rain, we continued to ride.

Those smiles are sure to give me wrinkles!

The fresh air was good for my soul.  Laughing and playing definitely is a great way to bring out my inner child.  I hope as I age the laugh lines will be an indication on how young my Simon really kept me – those are wrinkles I will wear proudly.

Thank you, Simon – You are so smart.

–Stupid Mom

Just Another 4-Letter Word

Allie Skating Like a Pro

January 26, 2013

Today I learned:  “Fear is just another 4-letter word”

My daughter was invited to a birthday party last week.  Today was the party.  Sounds fun right?  A bunch of 9 and 10 year old girls getting together for some fun, giggling, eating, screaming, and playing – and I don’t have to be there – what could be better than that? SCORE!!

But let’s rewind this story a bit…

When Allie’s friend dropped a party invitation at our house early last week, my heart sank.  It was to a Roller Skating rink.  Allie could not skate.  When she said, “Can I go mommy, please can I go? Everyone is going, mom!” My first response was to point out the obvious.  “Sweetie, you can’t skate.”

After almost 10 years with an extremely outgoing daughter her reaction should not have surprised me in the least.  However, it did.  What she said next was the simplest form of courage a person could demonstrate…she responded with, “So?” and then looked at me like I had two heads. It was decided, she would go to the party at the roller rink.

Today,  I took her to the roller rink and dropped her off, making sure the birthday girl’s mom had my phone number in case there were any bone breaking falls.   I helped Allie get a pair of skates, and then told her to have fun and kissed her goodbye.

An Ear-to-Ear Smile Says it All

When I got back to the rink two hours later she was smiling from ear to ear and skating (tripping) around the rink with her friends.   She proceeded to tell me all afternoon and all night about how much fun she had.  She has plans to have her own birthday party there, and asked if we would get her a pair of skates so she could practice.  She also proudly told me she fell “Like 100 times.”

I am so stupid.  I had attempted to pass down my own irrational fears like they were some sort of family heirloom to my daughter.  Good thing she is smarter than me.

So, my lesson today is if I allow fear to stop me from taking risks, I miss out on some pretty cool (and fun) opportunities.  Its definitely time for me to take more chances.

Thanks Allie – you are so smart.

–Stupid Mom

When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Apple Pie

Making apple pie turned out to be just what I needed.

January 25, 2013

Today I learned: “When life hands you lemons, make apple pie.”

Today was a particular tough day for me.  I had a lot of emotions whirling around inside of me. A disagreement with my significant other, feeling hopeless at my job search, parents that were upset with me, and a sister that I disowned were all weighing heavy on my mind. Not to mention I might have a slight case of PMS.  Yep, I was enrolled in a class act, first rate, full out, pity party – and I didn’t even have anybody to join me. Then I remembered my promise to make an apple pie with Anthony.  Damn.

Making pie was the last thing on my to-do list for the day.  I had vacuuming on my list.  I had cleaning the kitchen on my list.  Recently I had added “lots more tears to shed” and “feeling sorry for myself” to the list. Apple pie was NOT on the list.  But oh hell, I knew I bailed on him yesterday. It was time to suck it up and make a darn pie; whether it was on my to-do list or not.

Turned out making that pie was the best thing I could have done today.  Not only did it turn out SUPER yummy, we had so much fun together.  He stayed with me the whole time too.  Usually the kids lose interest in baking and cooking with me after 5 minutes.  He must have known I needed some smiles, because he was there measuring flour for the crust and was still there at the end when we popped it into the oven.  It was great. Definitely a memory type experience; ya know the kind that I should write in his “baby book” if I had one?

To my delight the pie also went great with a cup of coffee and a healing visit from my parents. And I even got a call back about a resume I submitted.  I got the vacuuming done and the kitchen cleaned too!  However, with the extra dishes and time spent on smiling and laughing due to pie baking  (and parent visiting), I had to post-pone the additional tear shedding and feeling sorry for myself. Not sure when I will get around to putting those back on my to-do list…but for now they will just have to wait.

Anthony is taking care of the apple peel!

So, my lesson today is that when life is not going exactly the way I want it, its ok to change the focus to something more positive.  In doing so, it only opens up the possibility for more positive things to happen – and besides, it’s a lot more fun then a pity party with a guest list of one.

Thanks Tony Bologna – you are so smart.

–Stupid Mom.

Learning to Live Again…

My three children are always teaching me not to take myself so seriously.

As a mother of three that has spent many years as a single mother, only to have recently gained the partnership of a really great guy, I have continually been on the lookout for ways to keep my sanity.   A few years ago when my youngest child was just a baby,  I found that every time I spoke about my kids I was complaining.  To be quite blunt, they were wearing me down.  Then guilt began to set in.  What kind of mother talks so terribly about her children?  I mean, I love my kids; they are my world.  How could the people so important to me really be the cause of so much stress in my life?  How come I wasn’t enjoying them?

It was at about that time I realized that as hard as it was to admit, it was not their fault; it was my focus on the negative that was making me miserable.  Somewhere and at some point in time, I lost focus of all the things they do to bring me joy.  So, I changed my focus to hone in on the things they did to make me smile.  Some days it was really tough to find too, but I stayed focused and forced myself to find positive things in each of them, even at my crabbiest mommy moments.

Then…something incredible happened.  I realized my kids were way smarter than me, and while I was working so hard to teach them how to be good kids, they had a lot to teach me about being a great adult.  I started to journal the lessons they taught me on a daily basis.  Every night before bed I wrote at least one life lesson I learned through my children during the day.

I was so devastated when I lost the journal that I stopped writing. In fact, I stopped paying attention to the lessons.  I even stopped paying attention to the joy.  That is up until today when my 4 year old reminded me how much I still have left to learn… and today,  I have begun to learn how to live (again).