Slime Farts are the Best Medicine

LaughterMay 28, 2017

Today I learned that laughter is the best medicine.

It has been a long time since I wrote about my genius children.  They really are so smart. Today was no different than any day, in that there isn’t a day that goes by they do not  teach me SOMETHING about living life to its fullest.  Today,  I felt compelled to blog it.  I feel a little rusty at this…but I have incredible inspiration. So here goes nothing…

Life has been full of changes over the last year.  Lots of adjustments and the stresses sometimes leave me feeling sub-par.   This weekend is a long weekend, and I am so grateful for it.  I have been pushing through a headache that settled in on Friday afternoon. Today is Sunday and I woke up still fighting it.  Although,  I think I did the mommy thing fairly well without going all “psycho mom” on them.  We have had some fun since Friday.  Cool.

So feeling a bit stressed, wanting to have a fun and relaxing weekend, AND battling a headache I was dreading what was about to happen.  Allie left with a friend and so I did something against my better judgment…I asked the boys to clean out the trash and papers from the truck.  This seems like such a normal request, I know.  However,  my boys seem to have this radar behind their ears that if mom is struggling to stay upbeat and battle a headache,  their little alert system goes off and tells them this is an opportunity to make life difficult.  I was expecting screams.  Crying.  Fighting.  The famous “NO!!!!” that my Simon is known for lately.  To my surprise,  nothing.  They just… did it.  They did it.  Like normal, well-behaved,  sweet little angelic boys.

Testing my luck,  I asked Simon to take out the trash.  Done. I asked Anthony to take out the recycling…Oh wait,  here is another piece of cardboard…and wait, come back — another aluminum can.  Done.  No fighting, only a slight eye roll when I kept finding more recycling, but in the playful manner that Tony has perfected.  Mom is 3-0.  SWEET.

While I am making dinner I get a request “Can we make slime?”  To which I reply,  “maybe  later,  I am making dinner right now.” Met with: “How about after dinner?” and “Yeah, mom!  We don’t have school tomorrow.”   My response, “Maybe,  but it might be tomorrow” is met with resounding disappointed groans.

I ask them to clear the table for dinner.  Without a second request, they do it before going back to their intense wrestling match in the living room.  I don’t know who is winning, they both are laughing and screaming in agony at the same time.

We eat. And it was good.

And then…a mom who has been given nothing but love all day can only do one thing, and one thing only. It is the thing that MUST be done.  Make slime.

So we make slime.

Its awesome.

Pinterest WIN.

Then… I have to teach them how to squish into a cup to make it “fart.” I  mean, I HAVE to

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All I see is necks

– its my adult responsibility to pass this type of knowledge down to younger generations. Suddenly,  slime goes next level.  They are laughing so hard, all i see is their necks.  I start to wonder if they have hinged heads or something, because I have never in my life seen heads fly backwards in laughter that far and that much in my life.  A mom with two laughing boys and farting slime cannot be a serious mom.  Its not humanely possible NOT to laugh.  So of course,  now the three of us spend the next 15 minutes laughing at slime farts, seeing who can produce the grossest, loudest and funniest.  Pretty sure I won.

Life is still stressful.  Adjustments are still difficult.  But my headache is gone.  And 4 hours later… they are still playing with their slime making it fart…and I am still smiling.

Today, my boys, Simon and Anthony,  taught me that laughter is really the best medicine.  In spite of external circumstances beyond my control,  I still have control of this big space that dwells inside me.  I can still choose to enjoy, laugh…and make slime farts.

Thank you, Simon and Anthony.  You are so smart.  (I can’t wait for you to show your sister when she gets home tomorrow.)

–Stupid Mom

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Grin and Bear It

May 29, 2014

 

Grin and Bear itToday I learned: “Sometimes Ya Just Gotta Grin and Bear It”

This morning as I was brushing my teeth with my electric tooth brush I saw the freebie one the dentist had given me a couple weeks ago. It reminded me of my dental appointment which in turn made me think of Allie and Simon’s dental appointment just the other day.

Mine went a little like this:
I laid in the chair, mouth agape doing my best to answer the hygienist’s prodding questions about my personal life as she flossed my teeth. And then it came…the oh so stereotypical hygienist question. “How often do you floss?” In a panic I started to wonder if she could actually tell I missed a day here and there since my last visit, maybe last Tuesday? Oh gosh… my mind started racing… Can she really tell I missed flossing last Tuesday?? I gave her a cool and collected “I try to floss daily.” Her judgmental and cynical gaze told me she not only knew about last Tuesday, she was convinced I had never even heard of dental floss. I slouched as far into the chair as I could as she continued to floss deep into my gums and gouge me with a sharp metal pick from hell. I saw blood splatter.

Theirs went like this:
A sweet hygienist came and escorted my children to a special area to have their teeth examined and cleaned. Their room was filled with colorful pictures, books, and a train track. A while later I was called in to speak with the dentist. The dentist told me Allie’s teeth were great! She even had her 12 year old molar coming in. Simon had one itty bitty cavity, but otherwise looked good. Wait…no mention of flossing or brushing? I remind my kids at least 10 times morning and night to brush their teeth. I think they actually brush them once a week, when I happen to be looking. And when they do brush…I think it is just one tooth for a maximum of 5 seconds. Flossing? Ha! I practically have to restrain them to get them to floss.  Did I mention the hygienist gave them a prize too?? UGH! I totally didn’t get one.

The lesson my children taught me this week is that, life is fair. It is. It does not discriminate or judge. It treats everyone the same. Which makes it absolutely UNFAIR at times… to everyone, even me. I don’t plan on giving up flossing, and I don’t plan on giving up the other things in life that seem to be tough or lacking the rewards I expect them to have. Sometimes, its best just to grin and bear it…or maybe just grin.

Thanks Allie and Simon, you are so smart.

-Stupid Mom

Climbing the Stairs to Sleep.

February 2, 2013

Today I learned:  “Take time to rest, even if it’s not convenient”

Being a mom, life gets really busy.  I am also a full time student and I usually work full time (although I am currently taking a little hiatus).  I play hard too.  I am not all about cleaning and doing laundry.  I take time to wrestle with the kids, ride bikes, make Play-Doh cakes and an array of family centered activities.

All of this leaves me plain ol’ tired and worn out at times.  It is not in my nature to nap or to even slow down much during the day.  Some days I will go all the way until bedtime and realize I hadn’t even sat down.

Usually my children are the source of my energy and remind me that life is far too short to slow down TOO much.  In fact, they are known to fight sleep (even as babies) in order to keep themselves from missing out on something exciting.   Usually they are a reminder to use a day up completely, with nothing left, as if it is the last day I  will have on earth.

If you use your day right, you have to sleep even if its not convenient.

If you use your day right, you have to sleep even if its not convenient.

Today, Simon taught me a different lesson. One I needed to learn today.  He taught me that while its great to play and make the most of my days, it’s also ok to take time to rest.  God even took a day of rest.  When I came down the stairs and saw that Simon had decided “here and now” was the best place and time to sleep; I was reminded that I absolutely have to make the time to re-charge and rest my body – even if its not convenient.

Thank you, Simon – You are so smart.

–Stupid Mom

Alligators and Bunnies Proven to Reduce Stress

January 28, 2013

Today I learned: “Alligators and bunnies significantly reduce stress levels”

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Tight schedules and busy morning are WAY stressful!

Mornings at my house are traditionally pretty hectic, especially during the weekdays.  I generally find myself frantically scrubbing up dirty boys in the tub, tossing jeans and shirts from drawers and hurling socks across the room in a mad-dash to get everyone ready for school and out the door in time to catch the bus.  My daughter always seems to take extremely long showers, and mostly when we are running late.  She also has one speed…slow…and again mostly when we are running late.  She will skip the conditioner in her shower so when I brush her hair there are extra tangles.  She will forget to bring a towel in the bathroom so I will have to run upstairs to get her one then run back downstairs where I continue my rant about putting shoes on with the boys.  The boys ignore me as they wrestle and play with toys, and of course take the opportunity of the split second I was away to turn on the television.  Then my youngest will refuse to put on his shoes, and demands something ridiculous like ice cream that we don’t have. You get the picture.  There is never enough time, no matter how much time there is and there certainly is no room for getting off the schedule of our routine.

But today, I learned from Simon that if there is time to pull tangles out of hair and un-wrestle two boys, there is also time to be a little silly.   After getting dressed and just before descending down the stairs to begin the next phase of mayhem, my son Simon caught a glimpse of his shadow.  While he giggled, I initially rolled my eyes and was about to tell him to go downstairs.  Then I looked…and then I looked even more…and closer and deeper…until I realized, it was really rather funny.  What I found most funny is that my Simon was not only a goof; he had NO idea how to make a shadow puppet.  His shadow dances were cool, yes; however, his mamma could make a bird, and alligator, a snake, and a bunny!  Eat your hearts out!

While my daughter took one of her famous long showers, screeching and screaming to move faster in order to catch the bus lost its importance. So, instead I spent some time laughing with my boys and making shadow puppets with them (sorry you missed out Allie, we will find our own thing).  Laughter filled the space of the morning, and we still made the bus in time.  In fact, we even got ready a little early, and with a lot less stress.

Sticking tongue out with Simon

Simon teaching me the art of silliness.

Thank you Simon – You are so smart.

-Stupid Mom